Femme,

So, you may have noticed by now that I’m a little… different. Or a lot different? Whatever. Judge me, but it gets better.

People are used to most of my quirks… most. The thing that probably gets the most questionable stares is when I say that I cannot wait to be a grandmother. Are you still reading? It’s by far the most glamorous job. I’m stoked. For real. I even picked a name: Honey. Not “Hun.” I hate “Hun.” In fact, we cannot be real friends if you ever refer to me as Hun. Forget it.

Ugh. Now I run off on a tangent.

Anyway, just trust me, I wanna be a grandmother, but my kids are too young. I mean, I do have teenagers, but they are still kinda innocent and obvs I don’t want to rush things. Like, be 30 already, dammit!

So alas, I must wait. Or must I?

Femme, it’s only befitting on National Dog Day that I introduce my Louie, my handsome granddog.

Femme, meet Louis V. Royal

You’re probably wondering why Louie isn’t the family dog or whatnot. Like, how does his role in our lives make me his grandmother?

Well, that’s easy. My husband and I gave Louie to my daughter when she was 14. The why she was gifted a dog is a story for a different post, BUT let me just say that it was a brilliant move!

As Louie’s grandmother, I accept all the accolades for how adorable he is, but very little responsibility. Naturally, I pick up the tab for his doctor visits and grooming (I’m his rich grandma), but my daughter makes sure he is fed, walked, cleans up behind him, etc.

He’s so cute, even when he’s cuttin up!

In fact, his entire day to day is handled by her and I get to criticize every second of it, like any good grandmother should. He gets spoiled rotten by me and the hubs— treats and belly rubs all day.

Can you believe that? An awesome deal. Sometimes, my husband and I are brilliant, and this was one of those times.

So happy National Dog Day. I can’t wait to celebrate National Grandparents Day. Did I miss it?